a mother's wisdom, part three million and grrr

So. Back when we were in Canada in the fall Mum bought us this digital ear thermometre from (I think) Costco. It was in this massive package and came with, like, 35 little plastic protective covers for the bit that goes into your ear. I was not overly impressed. My response was pretty much: we've got four digital thermometres that are small and easy to carry and light and they work juuuuust fine, thanks, and do you think we're irresponsible parents or something, because as I mentioned we already have thermometres. I put the thermometre into the drawer up in the bathroom in the countryside and forgot about it until we shipped of to India. (Yes, I am an ungrateful child sometimes. I know, I know, it's hard to be believe I have flaws -- but internet, believe me, I am not entirely perfect. Just, like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way).

I brought the thermometre to Delhi, and what do you know, the first time Ji and Seung Yi got fevers here I tried it out. I had forgotten that babies don't actually "like" having their temperatures taken. It was no problem, back in Bangkok, to take Ji's temperature for the 30 seconds it required when using the armpit thermometre. I started out in Delhi with our old, small, thermometre, and within seconds Seung Yi had wriggled her arms out of my grasp and I still had no idea how hot she was. I pulled out the Costco fancy dancy thermometre, stuck it in her ear, and in less than five seconds I had an accurate reading. This past week I probably took Seung Yi's temperature forty times. I now LOVE the ear thermometre. It is my greatest friend. Although it causes me vexation by telling me my child is unwell, it is so very speedy and so very uninvasive (me, I come from the generation that had to suffer through RECTAL thermometre readings...YACK) and so marvellously perfect in every way that I cannot say enough good things about it.

And to Mum: you were right. It is a really great tool. I was wrong. I am a tool.

Also? Mum? You know how you said something to me over the phone about how maybe Seung Yi's illness was roseola, and I was like, "Yeah, yeah, that sounds so old fashioned, no one ever gets that these days, sure, yeah, whatever"? Um, well, this morning she woke up with a rash over her body and I was really scared and then I remembered what you'd said and I checked the What To Expect The First Year book (which really ought to be subtitled "Very Little Sleep and a Newfound Interest in Fecal Matter") and it told me:

Roseola Infantum - Symptoms: Irritability (check); loss of appetite (check); fever from 102 to 105 (check!!); sometimes runny nose (check); on 3rd or 4th day fever drops and baby seems better (check, exactly!); faint pink spots that turn white upon pressure on body, neck, upper arms, and sometimes face and legs (check!!!!).

So, to you once again Mum: you were right. Thanks. I'm glad you are here to offer helpful stuff and advice to me and even though I might not appreciate it properly at the time, in due course I come to see the wisdom or your ways.

[Toronto-27-May-2007]

errata

Dear Fixed Address,

We wish you to print a correction to your article, dated 27th May, 2007. For the record we have never thought you imperfect parents in any way whatsoever, even though we did hear a report of an infant playing with a dart but we discarded that as vile rumour.

The thermometer to which you refer was in fact given to the wee Princess Seung Yi Savanah Sayo, on the glorious date of her birth August last. Many (misguided) grandmothers will give a new grandchild money, jewels, clothes, cribs, or perhaps even a high chair. Knowing the Princess' disregard for such humdrum items, this grandmother thought back to her days with babies.

What greater indignity can there be for a wee person, who is ill, who is feeling wretched, who would just like to curl up in a corner, than to have a cold, glass rod thrust up their butt? And pity the poor mother who lives in terror and horror that this slim glass rod might break!

Therefore the digital thermometer, brought to us by our American neighbours, seemed the perfect gift for a new born princess.

I remain: your faithful reader, aka Gramma

[Toronto-29-May-2007]