grampa & ji

A new story from Dad (aka "Grampa") for you all to enjoy. And while you enjoy, offer up cheers of huzzah for Dad who has now lost over forty pounds on the Amazing Dr Poon (all the Tang you can drink) Diet. All kidding aside, this is a really significant achievement. Dad, we are all so proud of you, and your heart is thanking you also! And now, without further ado:

GRAMPA AND SUPER JI DO MONARCH PARK…..

[Sorry, one more bit of ado - the parts in italics are Ji's reactions when I read the story to him yesterday.]

Once upon a time a little boy named Ji Hong lived in Bangkok far away from his Grandma and Grampa in Toronto. One fine day, Ji Hong’s Mumma and Pa were walking through the Weekend Market in Bangkok when they spotted an old man, probably a grampa himself, selling magic mushrooms at a stall. To prove that his mushrooms were really magical, the old man had brewed a pot of magic mushroom tea and was offering small samples in tiny cups and of course Ji Hong’s Mumma and Pa just had to try a sample. A few minutes later as they were walking through the market, Ji Hong’s Mumma turned to his Pa and declared: “We should send Ji Hong to Canada to be with his family for a while!”

Good mushrooms, eh? [Oh, that was what the man did to them! Goodness me!] Now in most families, the idea of sending a four-year old on a 10,000 kilometre trip halfway around the world WITHOUT A MOTHER AND FATHER would simply not be tolerated. In most families, anyone who even thought of such an idea would be locked up in a wet basement room with all the spider webs and Auntie Em’s stinky hockey bag. In some countries, mothers and fathers who actually sent their child on such a journey WITHOUT A MOTHER AND FATHER would be catterspronged and wongshankled in front of the entire town!

But Ji Hong, you should know that such behaviour is perfectly normal in your family. [Ahhh! Ohhhh!] In fact, your family has this crazy belief that being away from parents is actually good for children. There is a long history of sending kids WITHOUT A MOTHER AND FATHER to stay with their extended family.

Ask your Grandma why she knows so much about figure skating? Ask your Uncle Pat if he knows where Waterdown is located? Ask your Mumma if she knows how to play hockey with chicken heads? [CHICKEN HEADS?] Ask your Grampa where he taught you how to pee standing up? [Oh no! That's a saucy one!!] Ask yourself if you have ever eaten sushi that was carried to you on an electric train? [OH!] Ask your Pa why he first met your Mumma at Fairmount Public School in Toronto instead of at Ripening Durian Public School in Pakse? See, all these great things happened because your family firmly believes that it is A-OKAY to send children long distances to be with family WITHOUT A MOTHER AND FATHER.

But for a four-year old? Hmmmm, maybe that’s pushing it, even for this family. When Grampa heard about the idea of his grandson traveling to Canada WITHOUT HIS MOTHER AND FATHER, he was excited but a little worried because Bangkok is a long way from Toronto. [OHHH NO!] But then as often is the case, it was Auntie Em to the rescue. Now Ji Hong, sometime in the future, maybe Grampa can write about Auntie Em in another story, maybe one where there is a girl named Dorothy and there are yellow brick roads but can you imagine how much your Auntie Em loves you? [Yes... (very wistfully)] So much, that after flying about a gazillion kilometers every month doing her job with Air Canada, what does she do to start her June holiday? Why not fly direct to Bangkok and bring her nephew back to Canada WITHOUT HIS MOTHER AND FATHER. Maybe Auntie Em also found some magic mushrooms in Edmonton or Jamaica or Mexico on one of her flights……. [HAR HAR HAR HAR HA!!! I wonder what a WHOLE magic mushroom would do to you? Would it bulge your eyes out as big as your HAND??? Haaaaaa!!!]

Anyways, Ji Hong was delivered safely to his family in Toronto and Grampa had one plan in mind for the first few days: could he take Ji Hong to school to meet his friends and students? Sure enough, Ji Hong was up for the task and Grandma dropped us off in front of Monarch Park Collegiate bright and early one Wednesday in late June. This was a very special day because the students could come in and see their final exams and learn their final marks and also say good-bye to their friends and their wonderful, fabulous, inspiring, caring, learned, handsome and in some cases, beautiful teachers.

Now Grandpa was in a bit of a hurry that morning but you managed to keep up with him as he raced around the halls doing his business. However, at one point I got way ahead of you as I met Sophie Zagar, my friend and colleague, who was talking with about 10 girls in the middle of the hallway. Now you have to understand that Sophie gets embarrassed very easily. When she saw you coming down the hall she shouted “Is that you Ji? And you came running up and she gave you a big hug. Naturally all the girls gathered around were impressed and then you looked up at Sophie and asked: “Sophie, will you be my girl friend?” Hmmmm……Da Grampa would like to remind you that this is okay for a four year old but definitely not for a five year old….but the girls thought it was very amusing and the rumour spread through the halls very quickly that Ms. Zagar had a new boyfriend but he was very short, [hee hee hee hee hee] unlike her husband, Theo, who is VERY TALL and who is the goalkeeper for the Toronto Lynx soccer team.

Then Grampa and Super Ji went to the office where you met Karen who gave you a lollipop. When Debbie, the other secretary, asked you to come over to meet her you replied, looking up at Karen as you sucked on your lollipop, “I think I’ll just stay with her.” Hmmmm…. Again, Da Grampa would say, a cute line for a four year old but….

Anyways, to conclude, we had a terrific morning and I was so proud to be able to introduce my wonderful grandson to my friends and students at Monarch Park. You made a very good impression; one of my favourite students, Abel, who is from Rwanda, asked me the other day when my grandson was coming back to Canada so he could meet you again…..

Love Da Grampa

[Randy's Reviews-24-February-2007]