i love lex luthor

First of all, I love Kevin Spacey. I like how he talks slowly and thoughtfully. That makes it seem like he's really got alot going on in his brain. Like he's always figuring things out and assessing people and sussing up situations while he's talking. I like how he emphasizes words. I bet that the movies he's in cost more because he takes his time talking and therefore they have to use up more film. I like how he focuses on the people he's talking to in scenes. Go back and watch L.A.Confidential and check out the scene where he's talking to the young dude on the film set. I know it was done on purpose, but watch how he watches the other actor when the other actor glances away from him. Kevin Space has a true knack for acting real smart and tricky. And I sure do like me a smart and tricky man.

Now I know what you're saying. "Thaba," you want to tell me, "Don't get your hopes up. Kevin Spacey bats for the other team. The team of virile young men. The team of handsome be-muscled Adonises sweating lusciously as they await their turn in the boys-only shower room." Yeah, I know. I've heard that too. All I have to say in return is that Kevin is smart and tricky. He's never said whether he'd rather be coaching in A League of Their Own or Eight Men Out. Therefore my dreams can run wild. Really, more actors and actresses should stay in the closet about their lurve preferences. I mean either way. Let the audience imagine what they will. Don't tell us about your husband, your wife, your partner, your twelve kids, or the float you sat on at Pride. Just keep quiet, smile knowingly, and toss us a sideways glance whatever gender we might be. Then we can all imagine away without getting caught up in irritating calls to wake up and smell the coffee.

Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor only deepens my love. (I had kind of hoped that I'd be able to daydream about Kal Penn - my beloved Kumar! - while watching Superman, but unfortunately he had zero lines and was squashed by a giant falling crystal at an extremely untimely moment). Lex Luthor is captivating, funny, curious, and power hungry. He has a fab library and he brushes his teeth. Good tooth brusher is right up there in the top three along with smart and tricky in the list of Qualities I Look For In A Man. Not only that, but Lex Luthor is dapper with a capital dap. When he showed up onscreen in this costume, my heart just about stopped...

Oh. My. God.

He is wearing a three piece brown corduroy suit.

There is no other outfit I would rather see the man of my dreams wear than a brown corduroy suit.

He looks so incredible. I want to just go right up to Lex and run my thumb across his lapels.

I won't go on - this is a family-oriented website, after all - but hot dog I hope this style catches on in Hollywood. No more stupid hats (Justin Timberlake, I mean you), no more saggy pants (K-Fed, I know you're reading this. Shape up! Call a tailor you hobo!), no hemp (that goes triple for you, Woody Harrelson), no multiple necklaces - no, wait, no necklaces at all (Johnny Depp, no one cares if the French think you look tres cool. You look like a sleazebucket), and no being a freaky freaker freakerson (Yes, Tom Cruise, that means you). All of y'all need to get on the Spacey bus. Get out the wide wale cords, get out the vests, get out the lapels with button holes, get outta town and get down!

In non-Kevin Spacey related entertainment news, Phet and I both highly recommend that you go out and rent Casanova so that you can enjoy the following scene...

A very corpulent Oliver Platt plays Paprizzio, a Genoese pork-lard merchant who has come to Venice to court his fiance who he has never met. Casanova, who has fallen in love with Paprizzio's fiance, tricks the rotund dupe into coming to his apartment. Casanova then hoodwinks Paprizzio into having a de-fattening beauty treatment which involves him being stretched out naked on a pulley system and covered in green goop. After Paprizzio has been tied up thusly for several hours this scene ensues...

Casanova: Would you like a snack before the ball?

Paprizzio: Yes, perhaps I would. Do you see that trunk over there, shaped like a salami?

Casanova: Yes...

Paprizzio: Well, it's full of salami.

I want a trunk shaped like a salami and filled with salami! Me, me, me! My birthday is coming up soon. Like, in less than 30 days. In 27 days to be precise. Gimme salami trunk! [Randy's Reviews-3-July-2006]