a top ten list!

The Top Ten Ways I Knew I Was Pregnant Again
(Even Before I Had The Nifty Ultrasound That You Can See Below)

By Thaba

10. My button-down shirts suddenly wouldn't button DOWN.

9. Then, the week after that I nearly strangled the nice waitress at our favourite Japanese restaurant when it took her ELEVEN minutes to bring our order.

8. I suddenly had to have a daily nap. A three hour daily nap. Followed by a half hour of wakefulness. Topped off with bed-for-good at 8 pm.

7. For several weeks I wasn't really capable of "conversation". And you can ask Phet to confirm this, but what little conversation came out of my mouth wasn't "polite" conversation. Grunted, disgruntled demands is more like it.

6. Garlic became as fearsome to me as it is to dastardly vampires.

5. As a result of the whole no-garlic, no-chillis, no-onions, no spices thing, I turned for comfort to vast amounts of imported cheeses.

4. I blew out our bank account on brie. And after I polished a few wheels of that off, I discovered a taste for processed cheese slices. I craved those salty fake cheese squares SO MUCH that I took my son to McDonald's and ordered a DOUBLE cheeseburger (hold the bun) and then ate the cheese off of his cheeseburger. And then I drank a coke to wash it all down, and I don't think I've drunk an entire coke since I gave birth to Ji. No kidding. And then I scarfed down an order of fries for good measure. And then I stopped off at the convenience store and bought another packet of processed cheese slices.

3. Some of you may remember the story of my trip to Phuket. Now it may make more sense to you why I was such an ungrateful wretch. Yeah, sure, free yacht in a tropical paradise. But - oy! - the rocking, the waving, the slooping. And the lack of food! Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, and noooooooooo food. Hell on the high waters, I tell you!

2. I suddenly had to have a glass of water EVERYWHERE I went. Going to floss teeth? Water? Check. Staff meeting after school? Water? Check. Walking 3 metres from dining room to kitchen? Water? Check. Standing up? Water? Check. Double check. Those of you who know me well know that despite the fact that I live in a country that always reaches 31' by lunchtime I rarely drink anything. I prefer to ingest my liquids via the humid air that surrounds me. All this water overload over the past 3 months has nearly killed me. I actually had to order a new barrel of water TWICE in February alone. And you can imagine the delightful number of times I have to make a trek to the ladies' room on a daily - not to mention nightly - basis. Damn water.

1. Well, uh, I guess the topper has to be the time that I broke down in tears at the grocery store because the ripe starfruit that I was holding in my hands just smelled SO GOOD. So good. So good.

There you have it folks! I know it seems a little funny to send this news in an email, but hey, we're so far away that this is the way that works for us. Plus you get to see the ultrasound which was done just yesterday at ye olde Bumrungrad Hospital. The nitty gritty is as follows: I'm currently 13 weeks pregnant, and I'm due September 6. If everything goes ok we are hoping to be back in Canada for the delivery just like the last time. Although of course this time I know what to expect --so I'm ALOT more scared! So far my health is fine and the doctor said the ultrasound looked fine. I know that the topmost question on everyone's minds is "So will there be a countryside party, dang it all?" I've been obsessing about that too. I sure do hope so, though we'll have to ponder the date pretty carefully. Maybe early August? Keep your fingers crossed. And if worst comes to worst, we'll invite the obstetrician to come to the party too.

Cheers!

Thaba, Phet & Ji

PS: Ji is so far DELIGHTED about the news despite the fact that two weeks ago he constructed a trap to capture Ashley's one-year-old daughter who is currently staying with us. (Later I'll post a few pics of the nooses and the plastic dagger scotch-taped to our cupboard with a sign posted next to them, written by Ji, that said "TOYS" in order to entrice the baby into his trap).

We told him just before the ultrasound that we were going to see if there was a baby in my tummy and Ji got all big-eyed and grinny, and gave me a rapid-fire verbal run-down on how I could know I was pregnant even if I hadn't had the ultrasound yet. "Is your stomach puffing out? Are your boobs bigger? How do you feel? Is the baby pushing on you and making you fall down? Do you feel it poking you in the stomach and intestines?" He was thrilled to see the ultrasound and so far has been a veritable fountain of enthusiasm. He has promised to teach the baby how to talk so that it will yap as much as he does and then the two of them can finally drive us right around the bend. So we've got THAT to look forward to! [Number Two-3-March-2006]