beer lao man

Some of you may not know that our apartment is home to not just one but two superheroes. Of course, Super Ji is well known across the globe. But another courageous hero shares our home. Beer Lao Man!

Here's Ji's backgrounder on Beer Lao Man:

"One day Pa got drunk on Beer Lao, and these bad guys came and attacked, and Pa sneezed and it made a crack in the earth. And then he knew if he drank Beer Lao he'd become Beer Lao Man. Then these scientists planted a button on Beer Lao man's butt. And, well, it kills aliens and it breaks the earth. You should only touch it if aliens attack the earth and the butt-on is the only weapon that can kill them. Beer Lao man's super powers are to be super fast and super strong."

Phet adds, "I am stronger than all other superheroes and have super sight even though I wear glasses. I was born with these powers, but I didn't know I had them until I got drunk and then got into a fight and my powers were magnified. I have no villains. I am neither good nor bad. I don't care. I don't hide my idenitity because I am so powerful. And whatever powers Beer Lao Man has, within 30 seconds Super Ji copies them. When Super Ji discovered Beer Lao Man could run to Canada in less than a second, Super Ji suddenly had that power also. But the difference is that Super Ji is fighting for good and Beer Lao Man doesn't take sides. He gets drunk most of the time. Because he's Beer Lao Man."

And yet it seems that Beer Lao Man's quest to conquer THE WORLD is getting underway. Just yesterday, the following article was published in the Bangkok Post [our comments in brackets]:

HIGH HOPES FOR HOME-BREWED BEER

Inspired by Czech brewers, propelled by patriotism, Beer Lao has snapped up 99% of its domestic market and some international awards while forging a rarity in this impoverished remnant of the communist world -- a distinctive brand name. [Shurely Castro has written a congratulatory note to the Lao PM by now?]

Probably the only Laotian product that rings bells in the region or beyond [what, not fermented fish paste?], Beer Lao is also gearing up for an export drive and some international promotion, which until now has been largely word-of-mouth and Internet chat.

At home, Beer Lao goes unchallenged, its golden tiger head logo far more prominent than the red star of the ruling communist party [uh, think that's China or Vietnam you're thinking about, dude...or maybe Russia...The classy logo the Lao government always uses is on the right->]. The state-owned Lao Brewery Company supports schools, health facilities, and sports competitions and paid more into state coffers this year than any other single enterprise [not surprising, really, given that the largest employer in Laos aside from Beer Lao is the Unexploded Ordinance organization that cleans up mines that are still left from the US-Vietnam war, and there ain't alot of profit in that sector].

Marketing Manager Bounkanh Kounlabouth says a factory to be built in southern Laos as an export base will double production capacity to 240 million litres a year. The company realizes that Beer Lao's "full taste of happiness" and the nationalist factor aren't the only reasons for its success -- a 40% tax on imported beer helps. This, however, will vanish in 2008 when Laos joins the Southeast Asian free trade zone. Bounkanh knows imports will weaken Beer Lao's grip on the market and he hopes exports will fill the shortfall.

Wait! Wait! Oh yes, did you read that? "A factory to be built in southern Laos"? Well, there aren't really any cities in southern Laos other than BEER LAO MAN'S HOMETOWN now are there?

Exhaustive internet trolling revealed that yes, Pakse will be home to the new factory! Fixed Address quotes the Vientiane Times:

The Lao Brewery Company signed an agreement with SK Geotech Company Limited last week to drill a bore well for supplying water to Lao Brewery's proposed second factory in Pakse, Champassak province.

The factory will cost about US$25 million and have a production capacity of about 130million litres annually. Initially, the factory will produce 50 million litres per annum.

The factory will be built after the bore well excavation is completed. Lao Brewery officials hope to open the unit in late 2007.

The press release stated that the factory would provide jobs and income for local people living in the locality and help increase national revenue.

At the signing ceremony, the Managing Director of the Lao Brewery Company Kissana Vongsay presented a cheque for 100 million kip to Champassak Governor Soukanh Mahalath to build a public park in the province.

Not just beer, but a park to drink it in. Now that's what I call munificent! Check out the Beer Lao website and place your 2008 orders today. I know that's what Beer Lao Man would want you to do. [Laos-2-January-2006]