what I learned at UN orientation

Well, I have been going through orientation for nigh on two weeks now, and have spent a grand total of 30 hours in class learning Lao, and another 30 or so hearing from speakers from around the UN agencies and NGOs and our offices. It has been very interesting. 

So interesting in fact that I find that I am wearing out my welcome with the word "interesting".  I think I've said it about 40 times a day.  What else can you say in English after hearing something interesting?  Fascinating?  Not quite, unless you want to look like a fake-o kiss up.  Intriguing?  Only if you're the evil head of an international company exploiting workers everywhere.  And then all the excalmatory stuff just sounds like cheerleading - great!  super!  So, like, Laos is the most-bombed country in the world?  Wow! 

Here you have it, then: "Interesting" Things I Have Learned Over the Past Two Weeks: [Not necessarily in order of significance and impact to my fundamental understanding of the world and my place in it and the purpose of life]

#1:  There are WAY WAY WAY too many accronyms used in the world of Capital-D Development. Thank heavens I am the lowly wooden head on the career totem pole here because otherwise I would have to spend all my time pretending to understand what people are saying.  Luckily I am the new girl on campus, and can blink my eyelashes and ask 'what is UNCDF / UNDCP / FAO / IMF / CTO / UNV / S-UNV / SNV blah blah blah blah blah?'  For some reason, the UN has made a tricky and concentrated effort to baffle bystanders and by-listeners.  I think it's because Esperanto failed.  So they've come up with a lexicon of silly, technically unheard of, pompous and illogical decrees and divisions, hereafter referred to as STUPIDD.  STUPIDD exists in incredible amounts across the board.  Every speech, to be worth its stuff, must contain at least 20% STUPIDDity and an additional 30% of the time given for each speech must be devoted to explicating the STUPIDDity.  Seriously, I wrote this one down from the screen of a power point presentation:  CCA->CDF and UNDAF -> SRF, ROAR -> PROJECT DOCUMENTS.  And the speaker said, "yes well, as you can see, self-explanatory, etcetera etcetera" (he really did say 'etcetera').

The first big query I had was who the heck I was working for.  I'm posted to the UNV office, but I'm actually being funded under a project called S-UNV, which is jointly assisted by UNV and SNV.  Clear, no? UNV stands for United Nations Volunteers, and they are part of the UN and are based in Bonn, Germany.  "Since 1971, more than 20, 000 UN volunteers - experienced, mid-career professionals from most of the world's countries - have made a tangible contribution to the efforts of the United Nations and the initiatives of governments and community groups.  Their varied skills are showcased in how they serve - as specialists sharing their expertise to advance development, as field workers bringing intimate understanding of local concerns to fight poverty, as short-term managerial experts advising on how to generate income and create jobs.  United Nations Volunteers, which is administered by the UNDP, promotes volunteerism around the globe."

You may also be interested to know that the base monthly "living allowance" of these "volunteers" is between $1500 and $3500 US.  In addition, the volunteers receive a 3-month living allowance extra upon arrival, airfares, free medical and emergency dental care, and travel bursaries.  In Lao PDR we also are able to purchase a vehicle tax free - which can, for a motorcycle, mean a difference in buying price of up to a thousand dollars US - and they will also pay for us to have house guards.  As Little Orphan Annie would say, It's A Hard-Knock Life.

The director of UNV once hired my Dad for a job, and he tells me she is a nice person, which means a lot coming from him.  Not to say he doesn't say people are nice very often.  No, it just has more weight coming from my Dad. Hm, anyways, Sharon Capeling-Alakajia runs the show, and folks say she's an approachable person, ammenable for heading out for beers with visitors.  She looks good in the UNV yearly brochure - kind of Canadian governmental style for women - tidy straight grey hair in a pageboy cut, and loose but clearly expensive clothes that are definitely not suits.  You know, the kind where there's a shirt, pants, and tunic in the same nubby looking silk or linen? Well, she's wearing them in all the pictures of her with visiting reps from Important Donors, and the pictures always show her seated comfortably in her couch in her office, with a nice big colourful houseplant beside her. Comfortable.  Relaxed.  Trustworthy.

SNV is definitely a STUPIDD entity.  It is the Netherlands Development Organization.  Hm, now, you may ask:  In Dutch, does Netherlands Development Organization get spelled with words starting with "S, N, and V"?  Well you may ask, and well you may discover that no, of course it doesn't!  That would actually be 'Nederlandse Ontwikkelings Organisatie'.  What can you expect from a mixed up country that's called The Netherlands, but also known as Holland, but the people are Dutch, and there's a city called THE Hague. Where else do you get a THE any city?  Certainly not THE New York.  Or THE Toronto.  Or THE Vientiane.  So they must be nuts to begin with.  Turns out that like CUSO, SNV has come to dislike what their name once stood for.  In the past it meant Something-Something-Volunteers. But now they don't want to only be associated with volunteers, and therefore they've changed their name but not their STUPIDD accronym.

Now, here comes the big mathematical trick:  in Lao PDR, there is a UNV programme. And part of that programme is funded by SNV and UNV jointly.  So they have called it the (drum roll please) S-UNV programme.  And that's who I work for.  And that's who I'm supposed to be raising awareness of, and creating a good image for, and increasing recognition of.  And it's taken me twenty minutes to write a simple explanation of even what the heck S-UNV is. My work, as they say, is cut out for me.

#2.  A Little Bit of Lao History. Laos is a land-locked country bordered by Burma, China, Thailand, Viet Nam, and Cambodia.  It is currently ranked 140th out of 174 countries on the UN Human Development Index.  Year 2000 statistics show that average life expectancy is 53; the literacy rate is 46%; GDP per capita is 421$ US. Laos was first united as the Kingdom of Lan Xang ('Million Elephants') in the 14th century, and was one of the largest kingdoms in South-East Asia. Over the years, however, Laos was attacked and ransacked by enemies from Burma and Thailand, as well as Viet Nam. 

In the last century, after the capital city Vientiane was razed by the Thai, thousands of Lao moved to live in North-East Thailand, where there is now a 10-million strong 'Issan' population (Lao who live in Thailand). In the late 1800s France was setting up its colonial regime in Viet Nam and Cambodia, and Laos became a French protectorate.  However, the country wasn't exploited heavily by the French as there simply wasn't much for the French to take advantage of - the land was not good for plantations, there were very few inhabitants, and there was no access to the ocean.  Laos never accounted for more than 1% of the Indochinese exports, of which the most profitable was opium.  Unlike in Viet Nam, the French built no infrastructure in Laos, and even today there are no train lines and very few good roads.

In 1941, the Japanese occupied Laos.  After the war ended, there were major power struggles for control of the country - Laos declared independence, then the French came back, then there was a king, then back to the French, then finally in 1954 Laos gained full sovereignty after the French forces were crushed at Dien Bien Phu.  Now, during these years, Laos also forged ties with the VNese Communist Party, and following sovereignty there were even more battles between the different factions.

Of course, at the same time, US 'involvement' in Laos was growing rapidly. The Americans set up air bases in Thailand, and then flew across Lao to attack the VNese.  Although the Americans were not at war with Lao, the country was the secret target of hundreds of thousands of bombing raids because the Ho Chi Minh trail runs through the mountains on the border between Laos and VN.  The Americans completely violated the Geneva Accord of 1962, which had recognized Laos' neutrality, and by 1964 they had 'air operation centres' in five regions of the country.  The US flew 1.5 more missions over Lao than in VN, and often when the planes could not drop their bombs on VN due to weather or other problems, they would simply dump them on Lao soil when they returned.  The agency UXO Lao (Unexploded Ordnance) reports that: 580, 344 bombing missions targeted Laos (including massive B-52 strikes ordered by Nixon in 1970); 1 load of bombs was dropped every 8 minutes for nine years; 2 million dollars per day was spent by the Americans on bombs for nine years.

In total, the US dropped more bombs on Laos than they did WORLDWIDE during World War II, and Laos has the distinction of being the most heavily bombed country, on a per capita basis, in the history of warfare - over a half-tonne of ordnance was dropped for every person living in Laos at the time.

During the first few years of rule by the Lao People's Revolutionary Party, the harsh political and economic policies caused a huge number of people to leave the country.  People who were not Lao were also targeted, particularly Chinese-Lao.  Since 1975 around 300,000 Lao, or 10% of the population, have left as refugees.

#3.  "Development" means big bucks, strange foundations, and interesting economics. From the Annual Report of the UN Resident Co-Ordinator (ie:  main representative in Laos):  "In 1997, disbursement of Official Development Assistance (ODA) to Lao PDR, inclusive of grants and loans, totaled US$ 388.5 million, representing a 7% reduction from 1996 levels...In 1997, the UN system contributed US$ 31.8 million to Lao PDR...The UN system was therefore the largest multilateral grant provider to Lao PDR [the IMF and World Bank gave 82.65 in loans - not grants]."

Some other basic stats, from The Economist Intelligence Unit, year 2000: Annual Indicators for Lao PDR 1995 1999 Real GDP growth for 1995: 7.1% 4.0% Population 4.9 mil 5.5 mil  US$ Exports 300 mil US$ Imports 700 mil US$ Total external debt 2,165 mil not available Origins of GDP:  agriculture and forestry (51.5%) industry (21.1%) services (25.5%).

One of our guest speakers at the orientation was a German economist.  Mr. X is a specialist in south-east asian economics, and heads up an institute called, I think, Institute X.  He was in Laos during the Viet Nam-American war, and was a reporter back then.  Now he is a big-wig specialist who charges outrageous amounts of money for passing on mostly regurgitated information. Our Lao teacher for two weeks, Mrs. Manivone, received the goodly sum of $400 US for teaching us EVERY morning.  Mr. X, who spoke to us precisely for one hour - and even put his watch out on the table next to his pack of menthol cigarettes so he would be sure not go over time by even a minute - was paid $200 US for his services.  Unbelievably, the money for his lecture is to come out of our language lessons fund. 

Unjust!

Mind you, despite the fact that $3 plus per minute was pretty steep, Mr. X did manage to put together an interesting introduction to the reason why Laos fares so poorly economically.  What's the main problem here?  Well, if you look at the stats above, you can see that the amount of goods imported (everything from fish sauce to flashlights) vastly outweighs the amount of goods exported - wood, rice, that's it folks. 

Oh, except for opium. 

Laos is the third largest producer after Afghanistan and Burma, but still Laos isn't getting the big bucks.  Raw opium sells for a miniscule price, and Laos is way down on the production scale even at this endeavour: in Afghanistan they can get 47 kilos of opium per hectare, meanwhile here, on the same amount of land, they produce only 4.6 kilos.  Not forty-six. Four-point-six.

In addition, 60% of the economy here is based on subsistence agriculture, and the other 40% is pretty much black market.  No one pays taxes, and the borders are, for all purposes "open".  Inflation has jumped over 300% in the past five years.

How, then, does the government manage to keep the country afloat with the big deficit it acquired?  ODA.  Overseas Development Assistance.  In his formulation, so long as the country goes on receiving assistance in the way it does, it will never be able to pull itself up by the bootstraps and move out of Mummy and Daddy's house.  So what should the country do?  It has to produce more. This sounds pretty good so far, yes?  Quite reasonable.  The next question, though is:  why isn't Laos producing anything much except trees and rice, and at that, rice of a vastly sub-par quality to other local competitors?

From an industrialization standpoint, there just wasn't much investment in Lao by the colonial powers that were.  The French kept control with a few hundred people, and since they couldn't establish plantations here, they just didn't bother doing anything else...unlike, say, in VN where you've got a good railway system, roads, ports, big old colonial houses and warehouses, and where the colonialists made wads of money.

Then, of course, is the fact that there just ain't so many people round these here parts.  VN's got, what, 80 million, and Thailand something like 60 million, and meanwhile Laos has...five million if you're counting the chickens too.  Add to that all the rich and well-educated folks leaving after the revolution, and you've got...not too much. Lastly, factor in the damage done during the Viet Nam-American war.

So what does Mr. X suggest that Laos, the poorest, least populated, crappiliest infrastructured country in south-east asia do to increase its exports?  He says the country must focus on niche markets.  Hm, not a bad idea.  It's true that Laos can't compete on a head-to-head basis with big Thai and Vietnamese companies, so they should specialize.  Handicrafts might be one idea.  Or tourism (although without any infrastructure, plus a somewhat volatile security rating, one might wonder).  But what does Mr. X suggest?

Rainbow trout, deer, and ostrich. 

Quoi? 

Yup, he thinks that Laos has good conditions for rainbow trout hatcheries, deer and ostrich farms.  Since our time was limited and we were paying for every word, I didn't quibble, but definitely wondered to myself about this guy.  I mean, fish, ok, but a special foreign variety that needs very specific temperatures? And then how is it going to get to the four-star hotels he suggests will buy it?  THERE'S NO FREAKING ROADS!  Well, I guess Mr. Hilltribe Peasant can always opt for the helicopter option. 

And then deer, which sound like a pretty good idea, but they require a 2 metre high fence around them.  Where is this miracle fence to come from?  If you travel around the countryside, you will notice a distinct and almost complete lack of fencing.  And of course also a distinct and almost complete lack of money that would allow for the possible purchase of fencing or any other such supplies. 

Now who knows about ostrich, but I'm guessing that any animal capable of running 60 km an hour needs a fence.  So what is this guy on about? I think what he's about comes down to one main thing:  the cycle of "development".  Despite all the good intentions, there is a weird power structure and history and evolution to development.  Countries that have screwed up other countries in one way or another then come back to help these same countries, but sometimes end up doing even more damage in an attempt to bring them up to speed.  Well, or, ok perhaps they don't do more damage, but they certainly make baffling decisions and mis-judged plans.

Let's send pumps!  Ok!  But the people won't have the money to up-keep the pumps.  Oh well!  Let's build a dam!  But the people will be moved away and the dam will be very expensive to take care of, and then the market will fall out for enegy-supplying to Thailand because we've told everyone to build dams.  Oh well!  Let's give them money.  But they're corrupt and stealing the money and don't publish their budgets.  Oh well, let's get them some ostriches!

Addendum 1 - From the Constitution of the Lao PDR: "For thousands of years, the multi-ethnic Lao people lived and growed [sic] on this beloved land.  More than six centuries ago, during the time of Chao Fa Ngum, our ancestors founded the unified Lane Xang country and built it into a prosperous and glorious land. From the 18th century onwards, the Lao land had been repeatedly threatened and invaded by outside powers.  Our people had united to develop the heroic and unyielding traditions of their ancestors and continually and persistently fought to regain independence and freedom. Over the past 60 years, under the correct leadership of the former Indochinese Communist Party, the multi-ethnic Lao people have carried out a difficult and arduous struggle, filled with great sacrifices, until they managed to crush the yoke of dominion and oppression of the colonialist and feudalist regimes, completely liberated the country, and established the Lao People's Democratic Republic on 2 December 1975; thus opening a new era, an era of genuine independence for the country and true freedom for the people." And a few interesting notes: Article 9 of the constitution protects all religions, and condemns 'acts of fomenting division among religions'. Article 14 protects 'all forms of state, collective, and individual ownerships'.

#6.  That's it! Just wanted y'all to see that the month I've spent here pre-Boss hasn't all been just putzing around.  I'd have to say 40% putzing, 60% email. [Laos-21-August-2000]