so long ji hong

Well, we've finally done it. We've pawned off our first born on our gullible families who think we're "coming back" to Canada at the end of "July". Har har, the joke will be on them when we come to pick up Ji when he's EIGHTEEN and ready to enter society, earn a living, and support us in the style to which we are accustomed.

Massive props go out to Auntie Emma who scheduled her very busy work life to accomodate us in our efforts to jettison our son. Not only did she work back-to-back and painfully early flights for several weeks so that she'd have time off to come to Thailand, she flew around the world only to reverse her tracks three days later - saddled with a 4-year old and uncertain ticketing. Ji, I hope you're reading this: go buy Auntie Emma a few bottles of vodka. She will appreciate it, and it's a really good way to use up that spending money I sent with you. Canadian liquor stores, while expensive, are really great places for kindergardeners like yourself to hang out. Just ask Gramma, she'll tell you the exact same thing. Em says that the trip back was fine in terms of Ji. Apparently he slept most of the way to Frankfurt. Em, on the other hand, didn't sleep at all. Ji does like to kick in his sleep, doesn't he, Emma?

Talked to Mum today and she was having tea in bed with her grandson. Aww... Ji tells me that he got a new toothbrush, soap, shampoo, toothpaste and socks. Grammas rule, don't they? Meanwhile back here in Bangkok, Phet and I are quietly puttering around the apartment wondering why the tape isn't on the floor, why the books aren't all over the couch, and why we actually have shampoo in the bottle and not in Ji's bathtime buckets. As we get used to life without Ji, a look back at a couple of his comments in the past week...

1 - The other week we were in the taxi going out to eat and Phet and I were blathering away joking around about racism this-and-that, such-and-such racist, and so on. Kind of Russel Peters-esque joking. Ji was in between us just listening for awhile and soaking in the conversation. When there was finally a break and he could get in his two cents worth, he piped up, "Well, Pa can't be a racist." Both Phet and I turned to look at him curiously, and we asked, "Why's that, Ji?" Sure, Phet's not The Man, but he could be racist against any number of other folks, couldn't he? Maybe over the years he's built up some secret grudge against the Bhutanese or maybe the residents of St. Pierre and Miquelon? The Nouvelle Caledonais? Ji snapped back, "He can't be racist because of his knee!"

"Uh, his knee?" I asked, confused. "Yes Mum, Pa has had surgery on his knee and it doesn't work well. How can he be a racist?" "Oh -- you mean a racer. Like in a running race." "Yeah, he can't be a racist. See?"

2 - On Saturday we were invited to dinner at our friends Lars and Sarah's. They very, very kindly organized a good-bye party for Phet despite the fact that they and their two sons were leaving for a long summer holiday to Denmark in just five days. Amazing. Their kids are super fun. The eldest, Max, is five, and his brother William is three. William is an absolute ball of energy and power and could probably have beaten up Max and Ji single handedly. I walked into the boys' room, where all the kids were playing, and Ji was yammering at Max as Max was getting attacked by William, "Max, you know, as you get older, your cells get weaker. So you are five and William is three, so that is why you are not as strong as he is."

Later, I got to enjoy a dessert conversation that could only be had between two preschoolers with parents who work for the UN. The boys were sitting on either end of a long, fancy wooden table eating carrot cake while the adults lounged in the living room. Ji had on his Burberry plaid shorts and tie, Polo button down, and blazer. Max: "You know Ji, I am going to Denmark on Thursday. It is going to be a very long flight. I will have to take THREE airplanes." Ji: "Well, Max, I am going to Canada on Sunday. It is an even longer flight. I am going to take FOUR airplanes." Max: "I think I will take FIFTY airplanes." Ji: "I'm going to take ONE HUNDRED airplanes. Ha ha ha ha ha!" Max: "I'm taking a BAZILLION! Har har har ha ha ha." Ji: "Ha ha ha ha ha!" Max: "Ha ha ha ha ha!" [Ji Hong-20-June-2006]