ji hong's crazy trip to north carolina (as told to his mum)

I met some people at North Carolina and a very bad joke but a funny joke, I killed some of them. Isn't that funny? And I also got killed by them too. And now, for the last time, I didn't get nothing but one piece of metal. That's a joke.

I went to the plane and I counted 1-2-3 and I went to North Carolina. It was all sunny hot. Uncle Aaron picked us up at the airport. He was nice. He had two cats. I saw the first one two times, but I didn't see the next one. It was hidden. I played with Uncle Aaron and I met Neil (who I will call T. Rex!). And I wrestled with him and he almost ate me. But I ate him instead. I threw paper balls at Uncle Aaron and his friends.

The next day I went to the wedding. The car was nice. Actually, I didn't really like the car. Because it was too smooth. I do like my cars kind of bumpy, cause the fun of the car ride is going over bumps. We stopped to get me some treats. A magic wand that extends when you flick it, and I got a lollipop filled with gum, and a sucker on the end of the wand, and the wand is rainbow coloured. And I also got a corn dog and a pepperoni stick and some Gatorade.

I loved the hotel because there was Cartoon Network and I also liked visiting Uncle Aaron's place where there was Treehouse TV. I loved it because Treehouse is my favourite. The food at the hotel was...ok...the milk was the best. The nice, cold milk. Speaking of milk, I'd like a nice cold drink of milk right now. The landscape was very good and it was close to Uncle Aaron and Auntie Jenn's parents' places. I could see all the way to Bangkok and over the Pacific ocean and past our countryside house and over my Gramma's house and I could see planes on the way and I could see Pterydactyls and hang gliders and run away missles. Just joking! It was mountainous and one stair was made of rock and we were up on the edge of a cliff and you could parachute down.

The wedding was good. I got some nice chocolates. And my Pa probably got drunk so I could always win the wrestling cause he was drunk of course. And Neil was there. I mean T. Rex was there. At the wedding I played and danced and played and danced and I went to bed. I was not really tired, but I missed my gold globe that I didn't buy in Boone at the gem store. Mum, you know what? This is about a show. In Max and Ruby guess what happened? Max knocked over things which made his spaceship go and it flew off and opened up and parachutes came off and then they had a cake and candy sprinkles came out from where the rocket came out and fell on the ground. Mum took some photos. I took some photos. You will see them on some special technology. Bzzz!

After the wedding we went to Chapel Hill. I liked it. It was ok. What did they do at McGill? I'm not talking about Chapel Hill. Is there a cafeteria or food court or something? Yes? Nice service, eh? I'd build myself a lab-side school so everyone could see my car turn into a rocket and shoot off. Sorry, in Chapel Hill I ate almost a whole house of fried chicken. A whole ant house. And they would think they have a million metres of land and a great food supply. If I let ants in, soon there would be nothing but bones. Then there would be nothing but nothing. Nothing but dust. But about the food, I had Bojangles and Time Out biscuits and chicken. Bojangles was better because it was near a rock store where you could get diamonds and stuff. In Chapel Hill Pa bought me bubble gum, some chicken, and - OH! - a Carolina suit. It's blue. It has a jacket and it's in suit form and it's nice and puffy. And it has some black stripes on it and some buckles. The other pants had tear offs and there's an elastic band. But I got an even better one that you don't have to pull them off, there's only two buckles so that you don't get caught on something and your pants come off and your private bits could show. They could get caught on a branch.

The airport was very tiring. Cause I had to sit on a cart for twenty million days, it seemed to me like. And then we went back to Canada and that's the story of me and my visit to Carolina. I didn't tell you all of it still. But these are the ones I can tell you. The other ones I can't tell you cause I'm tired to tell you.

[On The Road-25-October-2006]