and you thought YOU were afraid of the dark

"Mum, wake me up at 3 am because I want to see nothing that is good.

I know when my nightmares happen, do you? Because they're right outside our house. Right on the ground. A big metal pot that opens up and blood is around a crooked wood bridge that gets rolled out by mummies. And there are vampire crocodiles inside and vampire wolves stand near the door. The castle is spiked, though not in a beautiful way, it's crooked and the floors are made of crooked bones and the walls are made of white paste that gets made when you die.

The first thing you have to kill is a giant rhinocerous. It's half person and half rhinocerous. Then you have to kill a vampire. And then you have to jump over the lava mat. Look, Mum. You have to jump on each one of these colours though not the red. So you have to really look where you're going to jump. Cause your death is your skills. If you don't have many skills then you die.

And then there's boiling water and it's another jumping course and you have to jump over the boiling pot of water that will boil you. And then, Mum, there's spikes of ice that go this far and you have to jump over the ice spikes and they'll give you missiles for shooting up and you have to pass the missile course and if you don't run really fast the missiles are up here on the roof, fattened up with gas and pointing down. If you accidentally step on the glass the scanner will beep which will activate the missiles to be shot off.

I'll need very light shoes for the bridge so I can float over everything." [Ji Hong-2-April-2006]