shopping with an almost-four-year old

This morning Ji woke up and told me that he wanted to go and buy a tie. Alrighty, I said. Later he decided that he wanted to get a belt too. Fine, said his father. We'd been planning to go and get Ji some shoes, so why not go for broke and get a matching belt and tie. What was that ensemble Poppa Keefe used to wear - a full Winnebago? A full Winnipeg? Jeez, I can't even SPELL Winnepeg. Hm, let's go with the 'i'. But anyways, y'know, that whole I'm-a-man-but-my-white-patent-leather-shoes-match-my-belt schtick? Thaaaat's what I mean.

I had also finally caved in and agreed that Phet could buy our family a second cell phone, but that it will NOT be mine - it'll be Ji's and I'll borrow it on occasion. Meandering explanation: I've owned two cell phones, one in Malaysia and one in Canada. Being a hermit who doesn't actually like that many people outside of my family, I really don't have much need for a phone. During my whole year in Toronto I received calls from my sister and my mother. That's about it. In KL, the number of contacts was even lower. I got calls from Phet and that's IT. Since I moved back here to live with Phet he has been nagging me on a near-daily basis to get a phone. If we ever spend more than 5 minutes apart in a mall he hassles me about how much easier it'd be if we both had cell phones. If I go out to see a movie, he goes on and on about how convenient it'd be if we could call each other and then meet for dinner. The fact that a) there are working payphones all over the grand city of Bangkok and b) his THOUSAND DOLLAR cellphone only actually works 50% of the time doesn't seem to matter. Anyhoo, I was complaining about this nagging to Mum and Emma while they were here and they both trashed ME instead of supporting me against my husband. They are wicked, wicked, wicked. They both gave me these endless lectures about how I should just get a phone to make my partner happy, blah blah blah, I'm not being considerate, blah blah blah nag nag nag. It made me so crazy that after they left I told Phet I'd let him buy "Ji" a phone. So along with the tie, belt, and shoes, we were planning to get a phone.

We went to Bata and Ji immediately liked the ultra-fake pleather runners that wouldn't let a micro-atom of heat escape from their sauna-y confines. We forced him to go and try shoes on at the fancy Tokyu (correct spelling, not my error) department store. Just before we found shoes we located the kids' fancy dress section and Ji quickly picked out a classy belt and a garnet silk tie printed with yen, dollar, and pound symbols. Heh heh. In the shoe department we tried on ELEVEN pairs of shoes, several of them more than once. Ji had his heart set on some Osh Kosh velcro runners in beige and cream, but we thought the back section looked a little high. We tried in vain to interest him in funky red sneaks, Nikes, sporty blue shoes, black basketball-style shoes, but all to no avail. He came up with many reasons why the beige shoes were best, going so far as to tell us that "The black shoes feel like my toes are pushing against mushrooms." I told him he had sensitive heels and that the last time I'd bought him sandals they made his feet bleed. He started to cry and insisted that he had VERY TOUGH heels. (This was after he had a minor freak out because we wouldn't get the pink and purple cell phone that he thought was the bomb...) We calmed him down, got him to try all the shoes on one more time, and in the end - surprise, surprise - he chose the beige shoes. For our part, we bit the bullet and bought him the black pair also. Everyone went home happy. Then I went to get passport photos for my work visa, and the boys went a bought a silver Nokia cellphone. Ji was very keen to try the phone after Phet told him there are games on it.

Watch out, here comes a kid who's not yet four and owns a hand-tailored tux, grey Italian calfskin loafers, a you're-so-money tie, a classy belt, and a cellphone.

Ai ai ai. [Ji Hong-15-October-2005]