the die-pod

It is with deep sadness, heartfelt anguish, and not a small amount of fiery anger that fixed address announces the passing of a dear friend. Suddenly, in the comfort of its own home, Ipod passed away with a quiet whimper. One day it was basking in the full joy of life and the next its circuitry had rendered it non-functional. Ipod was tenderly cared for on its deathbed by Thaba while Phet was in Tunis.

Desperate efforts were undertaken to revive Ipod. Thaba and Ji rushed to the Macintosh Service Centre but unbelievably Ipod was refused medical attention due to a lack of health insurance - erm, extended warranty. Desolate tears and heart-wrenching sobs did not move the Service Centre's staff who simply would not allow Ipod to go and meet his maker and get re-made. Against all laws of nature and in a wild attempt to defy fate, the Sayo family made a pilgrimmage to the Frankensteinian denizens of Pantip Plaza to see if there might be any black magic that would help Ipod return from the netherworld. Ipod was left in a coma at Pantip Plaza, whereupon spells were cast and fearsome gods were called upon. The juju men guaranteed a recovery but at the price of 11 000 pieces of golden Thai baht. That's 300 pieces of Canadian gold in case you are wondering. When confronted with this wicked price gouging, Phet covered his eyes, shielding them from the wrath of the black magic cabal and cried, "Then let Ipod DIE! Curse you, Apple! Curse you to HELL!".

(An investigation into Ipod's sudden demise has been undertaken by local authorities and Thaba has been taken in for questioning repeatedly. She continues to maintain her innocence in this matter, however, and today told reporters, "It was in my bag for one day! I never took it out! I cannot be implicated in any crime. I loved Ipod as if it were my own and I would never dream of harming such a close companion," as she dashed into a limosine, wearing a full length mink coat and black Chanel sunglasses.)

santa helena*

It appears that there IS a god after all, and that he believes in reincarnation.

Yes, it had seemed as if all had been lost. That the Grinch had stolen away our musical cheer. That our hearth was as barren as the coal bucket at Cratchit's office. That we lived in a veritable Pottersville of broken dreams.

But no!

The spirit of IPOD lives on!

Phet's very good friend Helena heard about Ipod's untimely demise and bestowed upon him a gift greater than myrrh, frankincense, or gold. A new corporeal body for Ipod's spirit. And not just any old new body. A new and improved body. With a colour screen and a thinner, more aerodynamic form. Phet and Ipod have been spending the last 24 hours communing and re-familiarizing themselves with each other.

Helena: Queen of Queens! Friend of Friends! Halleluia! Halleluia! Haleeeeeeiiiiluuuuuuiaaaaaa!

* And yes, we mean both Santa like Santa Claus and Santa like the Spanish word for Saint. [Bangkok-24-December-2005]